call me by your name

I know I said I wasn’t picking favorites, but “Call Me By Your Name” is definitely a top favorite. Although done unintentionally, I love that I’m posting this the same week as Valentine’s Day. In the film, we get the pleasure of watching a beautiful relationship grow before our very eyes. With the fantastically cast Elio (Timothée Chalamet) and Oliver (Armie Hammer), I definitely got the feels on this one.
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I was particularly intrigued by Elio’s “call to adventure” in the film. For the non-screenwriters, the “call to adventure” is what sparks the main character’s journey and basically drives the plot of the film. I talk a lot about “calls to adventure” that we choose to follow (the goals we decide we want to achieve). But what about those “calls” that we have to answer that we are not ready for? Elio, for example, discovers he has strong feelings for another man, which is new for him. He can’t ignore his feelings, so he curiously ventures forward on this journey he wasn’t expecting.

We might be forced on an unexpected journey by being laid off from a job or being dumped by a significant other. It’s certainly not what you planned for, but now you have to deal with it. Just like Elio, you’ll experience confusion and frustration over something you can’t control. It’s a lot of emotions all at the same time. While these situations can be tough, I’ll just call them by their name: opportunities.
Unexpected changes in your life are hidden opportunities. You will be challenged, but you will grow, learning so much more about yourself. It’s also an opportunity to reflect and make changes for the better in the future. In the film, you watch Elio learn about himself, gaining more confidence and clarity in this new direction life has taken him. He’s maturing right before our eyes. If you experience an unexpected journey in the future, take advantage.

In fact, you should heed the advice of Mr. Perlman, played by Michael Stuhlbarg, who is in just about every nominated film this year! (Also, SPOILER ALERT! In case you haven’t seen it, stop reading now.) He has a monologue towards the end of the film that is one of the  best monologues I’ve seen in awhile. He is soothing Elio during his heartbreak over Oliver leaving and asks him to “not kill [the pain] and with it the joy you’ve felt.” Forgetting the good times in order to not feel pain would be such a tragedy. Mourn the loss, but grow from it, rather than start over.

That’s enough gushing for today. Until next time, here’s a few questions to flirt with:

Have you experienced an unexpected journey recently?
​What did you lose?
How do you feel about the change?
What are your opportunities?
How can this improve your future?